My love / hate relationship with the gym

So this isn't the first time I've touched on this oh so wonderful topic. See here --> HERE  

Anyways...I'm at it again. So yeah, I've been going to the gym for over four months. Why did I join? I want to say to be healthy but honestly, that isn't the case. I wanted to lose the 10 pounds - 5 even that I gained between having my girls. I frankly can't even blame Cloie. I gained it before I was pregnant and lost all the baby weight from her pregnancy. Darn it! I can only blame myself for that one.

So I've been going to the gym to lost weight get healthy and I totally understand that you don't see the weight fall off in seconds after using the elliptical machine unlike when the weight hopped on in mili-seconds after looking at food. But one (me) would assume that after going day after day (2 to 3 times a week on my lunch hour) some progress would show as in weight loss.

NOPE! Still NOPE!

So on one hand I want to say screw it! Screw kissing my lunches goodbye to go off and come back, drained, sweaty, and feel like I just got ran over. Screw always having to have my hair up just to try to stay cool after and maybe not sweat as much during the workout. Screw the extra dirty laundry from all the nasty sweaty gym clothes. Screw it and eat the whole lunch hour long. Whom ever stated that you'll feel better, energized after working out was on crack! Crack I tell ya! Loads of it!

Quit going to the gym? I can't. I must be insane. I must.

The only thought that comes to mind of if I quit going I would lose my nicely toned calves....... yes calves. Cause who looks and/or cares about calves? Certainly not men! Or women. I don't ever remember looking at a girl and being jealous saying, "Damn! I want that girl's calves!"

But I'm abnormally proud of my rock hard calves. Can't say that about my tummy. That's pure jell-o! But my calves..... I'd let ya feel the hardness of them (firmness... I guess would be a better word....) if you want. I'd let you be jealous of 'em. ;o) I don't mind.

So as I write this I cringe to see the time get closer to 11:30am. I dread it. I dread going to the gym. I dread sweating and feeling so psychically tired afterwards. I wish I was like those other women out there who can walk with pride letting all their un-firmness show - not caring in the world. But I can't. I must cover my jello with layers and layers of cloth.

I don't want to go. I don't want to. I don't have to but I do. I have to go to keep my firm calves I'm so proud of.

Hence, my love/hate relationship with going to the gym.......

And I would have wrote about my very eventful yet fun weekend but I couldn't find my memory card thingy to upload the pictures. Hopefully I'll find it tonight. (fingers crossed.)

Happy monday............. and sorry the end got a little random~ness. =o)